Well, I was a bit upset today. I've been waiting for this day for over 7 months, but it still upset me. Every mention, every play of the 911 tapes just drives it home that he really is gone. I don't like to think of it.
I want to be reincarnated as that microphone stand.
I am on the roller coaster this week. I spontaneously cried, harshly and for a long time, the other day. I was sick, so I was down and out of it, but it just hit me like a truck all over again. This prick will discuss, debate, drag evidence through the public fishbowl, try to prove Michael was a drug addict and he was a saviour, and it's just awful.
There is no ability to change the outcome, and that's what makes the pain worse, I think.
Thank goodness for wonderful friends made on MJ Forum, and now here. If we remember that we're all in this together, and we lean on each other for support, love, laughter, tears, we might just make it through. I am not sure what's on the other side when we do, but at least we now all have each other, right?
I love you all, my new MJ friends. Yet another reason to be thankful for Michael, we all found each other, right???
Crying today for no apparent reason... Well, at least it started that way...Just read an old thread posted by MissMoonstreet, and there were posts from back in april and people were so excited about the concerts....
Sundays always suck for me...Tears always comes easier thia day for some reason...Sometimes I don't even know what I'm crying about. Just a mixture of a lot of things that bother me I guess...The feeling of hopelessness just hits sometimes...
But yes, I'm very glad to have met you guys...It's hard being all the way across the atlantic (or whatever ocean is seperating us), 'cause when you guys work, I'm not and just sitting here waiting for someone to come on
I'm sorry to hear you are so sad. I'm not sure if Valentine's Day is a celebrated holiday where you are, but a lot of people here are very depressed on this day. They put so much emphasis on love, couplehood, and togetherness that single people feel so left out. They make it seem like if you aren't in some sort of fairytale relationship complete with trips to Paris and diamonds, then something is wrong with you. I know that's not exactly why you are crying, I just wanted to let you know you are hardly alone in feeling sad. I'm sending a hug all the way across the ocean. Cheer up!
After a while of being single, you just start to think there's something wrong with you... I always judge myself from my relationship status...I'm no good if I'm not with somone, 'cause there must be a reason why no one want's me, right? You don't have to answer...Just a rethorical question...
I blame it on my looks, 'cause I know I'm a good person...
Hey, you!!! Sorry to hear about your sadness. You know I'm having a bad week and I've cried alot, too. Now I also found out a very dear friend is way more sick than she let on, and I'm more sad than ever. But we have each other, right? I know it's hard when we're all off at different times and places, but we're still here for each other, right?
Janni, please don't be so hard on yourself!!! You are a beautiful lady, but you don't need a man to validate you!! Love can be wonderful, and wonderfully painful, too!!! Sometimes loving yourself is the absolute best thing for you!
That special someone will come along, matter of fact, he may even be on his way home from Iraq right now!@
Hang in there, sweetie!!! I don't know the ocean that crosses, either, but our love is bigger than it, so we'll all wrap you up in our big Michael love hugs, that's make you feel better, right?
Smiles and kisses, girlie poo! See, I know you like poo, so.... LOL! I bet you smiled, didn't you?
Janni, you shouldn't ever compare yourself to others. You are a unique person. What is good--or bad--for them may not be for you. Just do whatever makes you happy and measure your successes by your own goals not the goals of others. As for your looks, the first thing I told you when I first saw your real picture was how gorgeous you are, so just stop it! Even if Mr. Military isn't the one, do you know how many guys there are out there? Sometimes people are so wrapped up in believing they are unworthy, they fail to see the interested people standing right there in front of them! Besides, you've got to start loving yourself (no not THAT way) before you relax enough to allow anyone else to love you. I think this was MJ's problem also.
Hey, girls. Janni, changing lifelong habits is a difficult undertaking. I am helping my son to realize that he can change, too, and he's having a tough time!! I know I sound like a broken record, but we're here for support in any way (well, not for the sex, you're on your own for that, or Jakob, maybe??? :) ).
Please enjoy being young, going out, and meeting new people. Maybe looking too far towards the horizon for Mr. Wonderful, and Mr. Right is at the door!!!
Beautiful girl, you're wonderful!! You will meet a wonderful man and be very happy. I am psychic, you know!!! I can feel it!!! Remember, Michael asked: Can You Feel It, and yes, I can!!!
Today was a really rough day for me. Not because of MJ, but his passing just serves to magnify all the other problems and challenges. It's like, when I'm happy, I still have that niggling feeling in the back of my mind that no matter what he's gone. And when I'm down, I'm really down because I start to think of everything he had to deal with and how unfair it all is.
Yeah, I also have that feeling in the back of my mind...Suddenly when walking to class today, I got the image of Michael laying on the cold steel table at the coroners with his chest cut in the Y-incision...It just popped in...
I also get so sad thinking about him being all alone and no one wanted to help him or could help him because of people like Thome keeping good hearted people away from him. All people around him wanted to do, was give him all the drugs he wanted. When I told my best friend that I wanted to start taking diet pills, no matter the risk, she said to me that if I did that, she would tell my mother.
There are just some things that you don't let people do...No matter who the fuck they are or how much money you're given... Although, if Murray asked me for some propofol, I'd shove it up his ass!
If you really truly have a connection to someone I believe you CAN help them to a certain extent either by advising them and being there for them or giving them tough love to help them snap back to reality. You can't DO things for people perse, or make them do exactly what you want them to do but you can influence their behavior and thoughts to a certain extent IF you had a deep relationship with them before their problems started to distort their reality.
Hi planet and everyone. The ebb and flow of the grieving process has me on quite a rough ride. I feel sick with sadness this morning. My daughter and 2 other little girls I'm watching today need me and i will put this aside. It's that pain in the heart and nausea in the stomach over something I cannot change. I wish I could go back in time and somehow change what happened so that Michael was here, with his kids, doing his shows (only if it was good for him), enjoying that beautiful house in the countryside in the United Kingdom or just anywhere he wanted and being alive and happy. It's cool if you don't answer. I just knew this was a safe place to share.
Well, it is a safe place to share. I hope you're feeling better today. I have my good days and my bad days. Sunday I was really sad, but I felt better yesterday and today. Don't we all wish we could go back in time, not just to that fateful day, but back to 1993 to prevent so much of the tragedy from unfolding...